


heart that still

by bulletthestars



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Breathplay, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-31
Updated: 2013-12-31
Packaged: 2018-01-06 22:32:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1112298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bulletthestars/pseuds/bulletthestars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, Jenson just wants to lose control.</p>
            </blockquote>





	heart that still

**Author's Note:**

  * For [twowittoowhoo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/twowittoowhoo/gifts).



There's something about this that makes Jenson seem completely different from how he usually is. Like he's softer than usual, more open than he usually is. It's strange, Nico thinks, because this is Jenson lying beneath him with his life, quite literally, in Nico's hands.

'You alright there, princess?' Jenson teases. There's that light in his eyes and Nico licks his lips, watching as Jenson grins. 'Still here with me?'

'Yeah,' Nico answers, looking at the silk cord in his hands. He looks back at Jenson and god, this isn't the first time he has done this but he's still nervous. His hands tremble each time, and each time Jenson takes his hands in his and presses kisses to his fingers, telling him that it's okay. It'll be okay. But really, this isn't exactly about Nico. He feels uncomfortable about the whole thing, to be honest. It's not like he enjoys choking Jenson, but he understands why Jenson's into it. It's the feeling of losing control, the feeling of slipping under. Nico had insisted that Jenson try it on him too, he had to know how it was like on the receiving end, only to find that it made him panic instead. But for Jenson, there's a certain sort of peace that comes over him, and if this is the only way for Jenson to achieve this, Nico will do it.

(But really, Nico would do _anything_ for Jenson, all Jenson has to do is ask)

Nico's palms rest lightly against Jenson's bare chest and he leans in to press his lips against Jenson's before moving lower, placing kisses all over Jenson's jaw and neck. Jenson lies still underneath him and later on, when Nico looks up at Jenson, eyes questioning, all that's in Jenson's eyes are affection and well, the vaguest hint of amusement.

'You sure?' Nico asks as he loops the silk cord around Jenson's neck. He takes his time doing it, touch tender as he drags his fingertips across Jenson's skin.

'I trust you,' Jenson says. There's that cocksure grin again, unwavering, and it never fails to make Nico smile.

'I know,' Nico answers. Jenson trusts him with his life here, in bed, just as he trusts him when they drive on track, when Nico's Mercedes comes close to Jenson's McLaren as he tries to get past him on track, or vice versa, although it hasn't exactly been that way this season. There's something about the thick cord adorning Jenson's neck that gets to Nico. It reminds him of their fireproof underwear, in a way, how it wraps around the neck except that is designed to protect, while this... It's meant to hurt, he supposes, but in a way that Jenson enjoys.

Nico tugs at the cord, watching as Jenson's eyelids flutter close. He pulls, watching the cord wind tighter, watching Jenson's reaction. Jenson's breath hitches, there's the tell-tale bob of his adam's apple as he swallows and then Nico pulls a little tighter. He breathes, _one two three_ and then he lets go, waiting for Jenson.

'Do it again,' Jenson says, eyes still closed. Nico obliges wordlessly, watching as Jenson spirals into blackness before Nico lets go, and he returns to him again. He suppose it's a matter of letting go on Jenson's part, and while he hadn't thought of it as control on his part in the first place, later on, he had realised that the control he has gets to him. The amount of trust Jenson has in him never ceases to amaze him and it's during times like this that Nico looks at Jenson, eyes filled with wonderment because Jenson trusts him so much, even when he's so fucking unsure of himself.

(Jenson tells Nico, _I'll come back_ , it's just a matter of him losing himself to nothingness for a few moments, falling into darkness and then he's able to forget and forget and forget, time stops just for those moments for him and nothing else will matter, but what's most important is that when he comes back, it'll always be to Nico above him, with his quiet steady breathing, unchanging, and just for a while, everything will be just fine)

Afterwards, Jenson reaches for Nico, cupping his cheek and Nico leans into his touch, letting the warmth of Jenson's palm reassure him. The cord is loose now and Nico pulls at it, throwing it to one side. He shifts, moving closer, letting one hand cover Jenson's neck. He can feel Jenson's heartbeat, steady and throbbing underneath his hand, and someday he wouldn't need the cord, he'd do it with his hands instead. Someday he'd trust his hands to do this for Jenson and it'd be alright, but for now, this will have to do.

'Hey beautiful,' Jenson says, voice more hoarse than usual.

Nico laughs, leaning in to kiss Jenson on the lips. 'Welcome back,' he says, pulling away. Jenson looks different, more at peace with himself now and some part of him glows with pride knowing that he was the one who helped to make it happen.

'I've missed you, princess,' Jenson says with a grin, and Nico yelps when Jenson props himself up with one arm and reaches forward to smack Nico's arse playfully. 'Now, how should I return the favour?'

**Author's Note:**

> -written for f1slash secret santa 2013.  
> -thanks to [the_resolver](http://the-resolver.livejournal.com), [insuhouciance](http://insuhouciance.livejournal.com) for beta-ing.  
> -title from [strange attractor by animal kingdom](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3s_BqdZrUbE).


End file.
